Age Gaps in Male/Male Same Sex Dating….. WTF

I had a fantastic date night on Friday.  One of my New Years Goals, (I am never resolute that I will finish them, so they are goals, not resolutions), was to put myself back out there and go on at least one date a month.  Mission accomplished since January! The first one was okay, not my particular cup of tea.  The second one was okay, not his particular cup of tea.  But like the baby gay bear that I am, the third one seemed to have gone pretty right.  His name was Evan, and he was 25.  I am not.

Sunday brunch with the friends, and as I start to talk about my date, it started; the conversation about dating outside of your age range.  Although I have always been attracted to and usually dated younger men, it seems this current age gap needing a little more conversation.  One of my good friends, jokingly said, “you Lance’d him,” which he went on to explain was alluding to screenwriter, Dustin Lance Black, dating diver, Tom Daley.  It was a modicum of funny, because we are always making up new words to explain situations, although personally I would have gone for “Dustin’ed” because it can allude to alluring him with fairy dust, which is well, gay.  (Don’t ask me why, sometimes my mind goes really gay, all on its own).  Although I was flattered, since a gay man of any age, would be lucky to date an accomplished and physically exceptional young man as Tom Daley, I also took it to mean that he wasn’t giving my chance with Evan much luck, as he has been leery in the past, (I say jealous), of the high-profile couple’s chances of staying together.  Yes we do waste our time talking about celebrity gay couples, whom don’t give a moment’s time caring about what a bunch of men in Northeast Ohio think of their relationship.  (If that was so, we would have had a restraining order from Dustin and Tom, and soccer player Robbie Rogers and television producer Greg Berlanti, many months ago)!

I think that Dustin and Tom have a real chance of working out.  I have known many couples who have been together from their first date, and lasted decades.  In fact, they may have a much better chance than Evan and I, for a few reasons.  First, whatever their age difference, Dustin’s handsome face already has that youthful, smooth white skin, that you would find on many a young Englishman or possibly a vampire, turned in his 20’s. (I swear he would be a perfect choice for a Vampire Lestat reboot, just saying Anne Rice).  Second, this is no sugar daddy relationship, they both come to the table with money and power.  Dustin’s entertainment and writing career allow him the flexibility to be mobile and afford to go most anywhere, and Tom’s diving career takes him all over the world and I am sure there will be many endorsement deals, plus he has his own media business with his calendars and such.  Third, this is Tom’s first same-sex, out in the open, relationship, which I find can be a plus, especially with the right guy, because there is no baggage and preconceived notions, going into the relationship.  Honestly, I think that their only two obstacles from the outside world is Dustin who could doubt his own self-worth in keeping a handsome younger man, (trust me, this I know from experience), the older one in the relationship tend to get a little jealous of others, and because of their power and fame, others who would try to come between them because they think they are too privileged or entitled to everything with their power.  The only thing I am disappointed about is that I didn’t win the double date with the two of them, where I spent $100 entering to support Dustin and Lance’s charities, HRC and Brain Tumor research, I think Evan and I would have had a blast!

My personal thoughts on May/December romances are mostly positive.  I believe the younger one in the relationship will bring out the older’s personality more, making him feel young at heart and in action.  I think the elder can bring wisdom and experience to the younger one, not in any condescending way, but just through the virtue of having more time on the planet.  That has been the experience in most of my relationships.  Without some of the men I have dated who were younger than me, I may not have learned many of the things I am now passionate about.  You forget about doing bonfires on the beach, what’s new in Anime, or which kid in One Direction is supposed to be the gay one. (Okay, I made that last one up, they have all been called the gay one or fans wished they were the gay one).

I bring a lot to the relationship as well.  I have been well-traveled enough to offer some insights on great places to go explore.  As a chubby bear, I know my way around the kitchen and know where some of the best places to eat on earth are.  I know the real reason of gay Pride and the people whose shoulders we are standing on and should salute for the opportunities we have today.  And I can balance a checkbook without having to look up my balance on an app or computer, so there!  As far as the sexual aspect goes, every partner I have ever been with, no matter what the age, are fairly familiar with the correct body parts to stimulate and each can bring a little magic the other has never experienced.

The debate between my friends and I are far from over, and I am sure we will be talking about the “right” and “wrong” type of person to date, for many more Sunday Brunches to come, but the moral of the story is this: Love is Love!  Isn’t that our new mantra as we gain equality in marriage here in the U.S.?  Is Ethan the one for me?  I don’t know, but there is definitely going to be a second date. (For now you get a picture of Dustin and Tom, after the next date, who knows).  No matter what happens, I will probably continue to date younger men unless some silver fox comes and sweeps me off my feet.  Either way, a man can dream can’t he…………….Enjoy……………S


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